Purple Jokes anyone?

[~* Alquavende *~]

Has anyone heard the purple people eater song?

Hey crazyasmarille87, you stole my joke I was going to post!

[Erutanie]

i have that song on CD Vende

[ascrazyasmarille87]

I want to hear it (read it) so post! I like jokes. Did you know that laughing is good for your health? lol. Well post so we can read so we can stay healthy.

A joke a day keeps the doc away.

[Erutanie]

let me think........it's not really a joke, but here are the lyrics:

The Purple People Eater
Well I saw the thing comin' out of the sky
It had one long horn and one big eye
I commenced to shakin' and I said, hoo-eee
It looks like a purple people eater to me

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me - One eye?

Well he came down to earth and he lit in a tree
I said Mr. Purple People Eater, don't eat me
I heard him say in a voice so gruff
I wouldn't eat you 'cause you're so tough

One horn?

I said Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line
He said eatin' purple people and it sure is fine
But that's not the reason that I came to land
I wanna get a job in a rock 'n' roll band

Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin' purple people eater
Pigeon-toed, under-growed, flyin' purple people eater
We wear short shorts - friendly little people eater
What a sight to see - Ow!

And then he swung from the tree and he lit on the ground
And he started to rock, a-really rockin' around
It was a crazy ditty with a swingin' tune
Sing a bop-bop-a-loopa-loppa-lum-bam-boom

Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin' purple people eater
Pigeon-toed, under-growed, flyin' purple people eater
I like short shorts - flyin' purple people eater
What a sight to see - Purple people?

And then he went on his way and then what do ya know
I saw him last night on a TV show
He was blowing it out, a-really knockin' em dead
Playin' rock and roll music through the horn in his head

Te-qui-la!

[Aranel]

That was an interesting experience . . . I was listening to Superchic[k]'s new cd while I was reading that. VERY weird combination!

[Erutanie]

seems interesting combination

[Aragorn714]

Thats great... did you all know I'm related to a purple people eater?

[ascrazyasmarille87]

huh?

[~* Alquavende *~]

Stay away from me!! I'm not a purple person!!!!

[Aranel]

AHH! Marille and I love purple! *runs to hide in PM inbox*

[Aragorn714]

Ok I have to tell you that the aforementioned relative has only visited us once, and during that visit he (yes he means it is a male purple people eater) said he was thinking about going on a diet, and only eating all natural orange people, just to shake things up abit. But I don't know if he ever actually started that diet

[Erutanie]

*trys not to explode from containing of laughter*

[4evercaughtinlotr]

actually he did start on the diet. until I told him I knew alot more pink people to eat than orange people, (besides the fact that I hate pink) And so he went to that one.

[Erutanie]

i think this would be considered a purple joke, but i may be wrong....

Curtain Rods
After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young
secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded to live in the couple's multimillion
dollar
mansion, and since the man's lawyers were a little better than his
wife's
and he prevailed and was granted the house. He gave his now ex-wife
just 3
days to move out. She spent the first day packing her belongings into
boxes,
crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining
room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and
feasted on
a pound of shrimp and a jar of caviar.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited
a few
half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the
curtain
rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything
cleaning &mopping and airing the place. Vents were checked for dead
rodents
and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to
set
off powerful gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few
days
and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool
carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen
refused to
work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the
stench
any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could
not
find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even
the
local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a
new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told
her the
saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she
missed
her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce
settlement
in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on
price
that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she
were
to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his
lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.....including the curtain rods.

[Aragorn714]

lol its a good one, I heard a version of that before, its not quite a purple joke, but its good enough to be on this page... Purple Jokes usually have a surprise or different ending.