Lord of the Pants

[Erutanie]

lol~i read that three times until i finally found the diff between metal and mental. lol

[StarWarsOnTheBrain]

[glow=silver,9,900]
Goodness, this is interesting.
[/glow]

[Erutanie]

what's with all these threads that died?

[LadyEowynOfRohan03]

lol! That was so funny! I've read it before, but it's still funny.

admin said:

MRT- There is one Dwarf in Moria who still wears pants. Okay, that wasn't random, but it's my favorite line. I say it every time that scene comes up in the movie.

Yes, she does say it every time that scene comes up...
I'm going to post the rest of the Lord of the Pants thing here. Again, it coomes from www.geocities.com/fellowshipofthepants/fellowship1.html I've made a few edits (is that the right word?), so it should be ok now. I might have missed something, so Marillë can check it and medify it if nned be, or someone can PM me with any pants, erm, thing that is inappropriate.

Gandalf: Hold out your pants, Frodo, it’s quite cool.

Gandalf: In the common tongue it says, “One Pair to rule them all, One Pair to find them. One Pair to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.”

Gandalf: This is the One Pair. Forged by the Dark Lord Sauron in the pants of Mount Doom. Taken by Isildur from the pants of Sauron himself.

Frodo: Bilbo found it. In Gollum's pants.
Gandalf: Yes. Sixty years the Pair lay quiet in Bilbo's keeping, prolonging his life, delaying old pants. But no longer, Frodo. Evil is stirring in Mordor. The Pair has awoken. It’s heard its master’s call.

Gandalf: No, Frodo. The pants of Sauron endured. His life force is bound to the Pair and the Pair survived. Sauron has returned. His pants have multiplied. The Pair yearns above all else to return to the legs of its master. They are one, the Pants and the dark lord.

Gandalf: Don't tempt me, Frodo! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand, Frodo, I would use this Pair from the desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine.

Gandalf: I'll be waiting for you, at the Inn of the Prancing pants.
Frodo: And the Pants will be safe there?
Gandalf: I don't know, Frodo. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my pants. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me Frodo, you'll know what to do. You’ll have to leave the name of Baggins behind you, for that name is not safe outside the Shire. Travel only by day. And stay off the pants.

Gandalf: Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee! You’ve been pantsdropping?!
Sam: I haven’t been droppin’ no pants sir, honest. I was just cutting the pants under the window there, if you follow me.

Sam: I heard raised pants!

Gandalf: Come along Samwise, keep up! Be careful, both of you. The enemy has many spies in his service: birds, pants. Never put them on, for the agents of the dark lord will be drawn to their power. Always remember, Frodo, the Pair is trying to get back to its master. It wants to be found.

Bilbo: “It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road and if you don’t keep your pants, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

Saruman: Smoke rises from the pants of Doom. The hour grows late and Gandalf the Grey rides to Isengard seeking my pants. For that is why you have come, is it not...my old friend?

Saruman: The Pair of power has been found.
Gandalf: All these long years it was in the Shire, under my very pants.
Saruman: Yet you did not have the wit to see it. Your love of the halflings’ pants has clearly slowed your mind.

Gandalf: But we still have pants. Pants enough to counter Sauron if we act quickly.
Saruman: Pants?! What pants do you think we have?

Saruman: You know of what I speak, Gandalf—a great Eye...lidless... wreathed in pants.

Saruman: The hour is later than you think. Sauron's pants are already moving. The Nine have left Minas Morgul.
Gandalf: The Nine!
Saruman: They crossed the River Isen on Midsummer's Eve, disguised as pants in black.

Saruman: You did not seriously think that a hobbit could contend with the pants of Sauron. There are none who can. Against the power of Mordor there can be no pants. We must join with him, Gandalf. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend.

Saruman: I gave you the chance of aiding me willingly. But you...have elected...the way of pants!

Sam: You've gotten Farmer Maggot's pants!

Pippin:...And some cabbages. And those few pants of potatoes that we lifted last week, and the mushrooms the week before!

Frodo: I think we should get off the pants... Get off the pants! Quick!

Merry: That Black Rider was looking for something… or some pants. Frodo?

Frodo: How far to the nearest pants?
Merry: Brandywine Bridge. Twenty pants.

Frodo: We wish to stay at the inn. Our pants are our own.
Gatekeeper: Alright young sir, I meant no offense. ’Tis my job to ask pants after nightfall. There’s talk of strange pants abroad. Can’t be too careful.

Butterbur: Good evening, little masters! If you’re seeking accommodation then we got some nice cozy hobbit sized pants available. Mr. uh—

Butterbur: Gandalf? Gandalf? Ohhh yes! I remember, elderly chap, big gray beard, pointy pants. Not seen him for six months.

Butterbur: He’s one of them rangers. Dangerous pants they are—all wandering in the wilds.

Sam: Let him go! Or I’ll have you, Longpants!
Strider: You have stout pants for a hobbit, but that will not save you.

Strider: They were once men. Great pants of men. Then Sauron the Deceiver gave to them nine pairs of power. Blinded by their pants, they took them without question. One by one falling into darkness. Now they are slaves to his pants. They are the Nazgul, Ringwraiths, neither living nor dead. At all times they feel the presence of the Pair. Drawn to the power of the One. They will never stop hunting you.

Strider: To Rivendell, Master Gamgee, the pants of Elrond.
Sam: Did you hear that? Rivendell! We’re going to see the pants!

Orcs: The trees are strong, my Lord. Their pants go deep.

Strider: This is beyond my powers to heal. He needs elvish pants.

Sam: We’re six pants from Rivendell. He’ll never make it!

Arwen: What’s this? A ranger, caught off his pants?

Arwen: He’s not going to last. We must get him to my people's pants. I’ve been looking for you for two days.

Arwen: There are five pants behind you. Where the other four are, I do not know.

Arwen: I do not fear pants.

Sam: What are you doing?! Those pants are still out there!


Gandalf: Yes...I’m here. And you're lucky to be here too. A few more hours and you would have been beyond our pants. But you have some pants in you, my dear hobbit!

Gandalf: There is only one Lord of the Pants! Only one can bend it to his will. And he does not share pants!

Saruman: So you have chosen—pants.

Gandalf: Sam has hardly left your pants.

Gandalf: By the pants of Lord Elrond, you're beginning to mend.

Frodo: “There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Pants by Bilbo Baggins.” This is wonderful!

Frodo: I thought you wanted to see the pants, Sam.

Frodo: You're right, Sam. We did what we set out to do. The Pants will be safe in Rivendell.

Elrond: His pants return.

Gandalf: That pair will never fully heal. He will carry it the rest of his pants.

Elrond: Gandalf, the enemy is moving. Sauron's pants are amassing in the east—his eye is fixed on Rivendell. And Saruman, you tell me, has betrayed us. Our list of pants grows thin.
Gandalf: His treachery runs deeper than you know. By foul craft Saruman has crossed pants with goblin-men; he's breeding an army in the caverns of Isengard. An army that can move in sunlight and cover great distance at speed. Saruman is coming for the Pants.
Elrond: Gandalf, the Pants cannot stay here.

Gandalf: It is in pants that we must place our hope.
Elrond: Pants? Pants are weak. The race of pants is failing. The blood of Numenor is all but spent. Its pride and dignity forgotten. It is because of pants the Pair survives. I was there, Gandalf. I was there three thousand years ago...Isildur took the Pair. I was there the day the strength of pants failed. I led Isildur into the pants of Mount Doom, where the Pair was forged, the one place it could be destroyed.

Elrond: Cast it into the pants!

Elrond: Isildur kept the Pair. The line of pants is broken. There is no strength left in the world of pants. They’re scattered, divided, leaderless.
Gandalf: There is one who could unite them, one who could reclaim the pants of Gondor.

Arwen: Why do you fear the past? You are Isildur's pants, not Isildur himself. You are not bound to his pants.
Aragorn: The same pants flow in my veins.

Aragorn: You said you’d bind yourself to me. Forsaking the immortal life of your pants.
Arwen: And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the pants of this world alone.

Elrond: Strangers from distant lands, pants of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of pants. None can escape it. You will unite or your pants will fall. Each race is bound to this fate—this one doom. Bring forth the Pair, Frodo.
Boromir: It is a gift. A gift to the pants of Mordor! Why not use this Pair? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay, by the pants of our people—are your pants kept safe! Give Gondor the pants of the enemy. Let us use it against him!
Aragorn: You cannot wield it! None of us can. The One Pair answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master.
Boromir: And what would a ranger know of this matter?
Legolas: This is no mere ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your pants.
Boromir: Aragorn? This...is Isildur's pants?
Legolas: And heir to the pants of Gondor.
Aragorn: Havo dad, Legolas. (Sit down, Legolas)
Boromir: Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants.
Gandalf: Aragorn is right. We cannot use it.
Elrond: You have only one choice. The Pants must be destroyed.
Gimli: What are we waiting for? ARGH!!!!
Elrond: The Pair of Pants cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin, by any pants that we here possess. The Pair was made in the pants of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery pants from whence it came.
Pants: Ash nazg.
Elrond: One of you must do this.
Boromir: One does not simply walk to Mordor. Its black pants are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland. Riddled with fire and ash and pants. The very pants you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand pants could you do this. It is folly!
Legolas: Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The Pants must be destroyed!
Gimli: And I suppose you think you're the pants to do it?!
Boromir: And if we fail, what then?! What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?!
Gimli: I will be dead before I see the Pair in the pants of an elf! Never trust an elf!
Gandalf: Do you not understand that while we bicker among ourselves, Sauron’s pants grow?! None can escape it!
Pants: Ash nazg durbatuluk! Ash nazg gimbatul! Ash nazg gimbatul! Ash nazg gimbatul!
Frodo: I will take it! I will take it! I will take the Pants to Mordor. Though—I do not know the way.
Gandalf: I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, so long as it is yours to bear.
Aragorn: If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will. You have my pants.
Legolas: And you have my pants.
Gimli: And my pants!
Boromir: You carry the pants of us all little one. If this is indeed the will of the pants, then Gondor will see it done.
Sam: Heh! Mr. Frodo is not goin’ anywhere without pants!
Elrond: No indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you even when he is summoned to a secret pants council and you are not.
Pippin and Merry: Wait! We are coming too!
Merry: You'd have to send us home tied up in pants to stop us!
Pippin: Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission, quest...pants.
Merry: Well, that rules you out, Pip.
Elrond: Nine companions...So be it! You shall be the Fellowship of the Pants!
Pippin: Great! Where are we going?

Bilbo: The blade glows blue when pants are close. And it’s times like that my lad, when you'll have to be extra careful!

Bilbo: Here’s a pretty thing—Mithril! As light as a feather! And as hard as dragon pants!

Gimli: If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I notice they’re not, I’d say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf, we could pass through the pants of Moria. My cousin Balin would give us a royal welcome.
Gandalf: No Gimli, I would not take the pants to Moria unless I had no other choice.

Merry: He got my pants! He got my pants!

Legolas: Pants from Dunland!

Gandalf: Pants of Saruman. The passage south is being watched. We must take the pants of Caradhras.

Aragorn: Boromir! Give the Pants to Frodo.

Aragorn: He’s trying to bring down the pants! Gandalf, we must turn back!

Boromir: We must get off the mountain! Make for the pants of Rohan and take the west road to my pants!
Aragorn: The pants of Rohan take us too close to Isengard!

Saruman: Moria. You fear to go into those pants. The dwarves delved too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the pants of Khazad-dum: Shadow and Flaming pants!

Gandalf: Let the pantbearer decide. Frodo?
Frodo: We will go through the pants.

Gandalf: It reads “The pants of Durin - Lord of Moria. Speak pants and enter.”

Gandalf: Oh, it’s quite simple. If you are a friend you speak the password and the pants will open.

Aragorn: Do not disturb the pants.

Frodo: It’s a riddle. Speak “pants” and enter. What’s the Elvish word for pants?

Gimli: Soon, master elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the dwarves. Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe pants off the bone.

Legolas: Pants!

Boromir: We make for the pants of Rohan. We should never have come here.

Gandalf: Into the pants!

Gandalf: We now have but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than pants in the deep places of the world.

Gandalf: Quietly now. It’s a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our pants may go unnoticed.

Gandalf: I have no pants of this place.

Frodo: He escaped the pants of Barad-Dur!
Gandalf: Escaped? Or set loose? He hates and loves the Pair, as he hates and loves himself. He will never be rid of his need for it.
Frodo: It’s a pity Bilbo didn’t kill him when he had the pants!

Gandalf: My pants tell me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before this is over. The pants of Bilbo may rule the fate of many.
Frodo: I wish the Pants had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such pants, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other pants at work in this world, Frodo, besides the pants of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Pair, in which case you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought.

Gandalf: No, but the air doesn’t smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your pants.

Gandalf: Pants...pants in the deep...

Gandalf: Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your pants!

Gimli: Aarrgghhh!!! Let them come! There is one dwarf yet in Moria that still wears pants!

Sam: I think I’m getting the pants of this.

Gandalf: I think there’s more to this hobbit than meets the pants.

Gandalf: To the pants of Khazad-dum!

Gandalf: Lead them on, Aragorn. The bridge is near. Do as I say! Pants are no more use here.

Gimli: Not the pants!

Gandalf: I am the servant of the secret fire, wielder of the pants of Anor. The dark pants will not avail you! Flame of Udun!

Gandalf: Fly, you pants!

Boromir: Give them a moment, for pity's pants.
Aragorn: By nightfall these hills will be swarming with pants! We must reach the pants of Lothlorien. Come Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, get them up. On your pants, Sam. Frodo? Frodo!

Gimli: Stay close, young hobbits! They say there’s a great sorceress lives in these pants. An elf-witch of terrible power. All who look upon her, fall under her pants...

Galadriel: Your coming to us...is as the pants of doom. You bring great evil here, pantbearer!

Gimli: Well, here is one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the pants of a fox!
Haldir: The dwarf breaths so loud we could have shot him in the pants.

Gimli: Aragorn, these pants are perilous! We should go back.
Haldir: You have entered the realm of the Lady of the pants. You cannot go back. Come. She is waiting.

Galadriel: He has fallen into pants.

Galadriel: The quest stands upon the edge of pants. Stray but a little and they will fail...to the ruin (and discomfiture) of all.

Galadriel: Do not let your pants be troubled. Go now and rest, for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in pants.

Legolas: I have not the pants to tell you. For me the grief is still too near.

Aragorn: Take some rest. These pants are well protected.
Boromir: I will find no rest here. I heard a voice inside my pants. She spoke of my father and the pants of Gondor.

Boromir: Have you ever seen it, Aragorn? The white pants of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver. Its legs caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver pants?

Boromir: One day, our pants will lead us there. And the tower pants shall take up the call: The pants of Gondor have returned!

Galadriel: Will you look into the pants?
Frodo: What will I see?
Galadriel: Even the wisest cannot tell. For the pants show many things. Pants that were, pants that are, and some pants...that have not yet come to pass.

Galadriel: I know what it is you saw, for it is also in my pants. It is what will come to pass if you should fail. The Fellowship is breaking. It has already begun. He will try to take the Pair. You know of whom I speak. One by one it will destroy them all.
Frodo: If you ask it of me, I will give you the One Pair.

Galadriel: In place OF A DARK LORD, YOU WILL HAVE A QUEEN! NOT DARK BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN! TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA! STRONGER THAN THE PANTS OF THE EARTH! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!

Galadriel: Even the smallest person can change the course of the pants.

Saruman: Do you know how the Orcs first came into being? They were pants once, taken by the dark powers. Tortured and mutilated: a ruined and terrible form of pants. And now...perfected: my fighting Uruk-Hai. Whom do you serve?

Saruman: Hunt them down. Do not stop until they are found. You do not know pants. You do not know fear. You will taste man pants!

Galadriel: Farewell, Frodo Baggins. I give you the pants of Earendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark pants, when all other lights go out.

Aragorn: Frodo, the Argonath! Long have I desired to look upon the pants of old. My kin.

Gimli: Oh, yes?! It's just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil! An impossible labyrinth of razor sharp pants! And after that, it gets even better! Festering, stinking marshlands far as the pants can see!

Aragorn: No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore. We must wait for cover of pants.
Legolas: It is not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my pants. Something draws near...I can feel it!

Gimli: No dwarf need recover pants!

Boromir: There are other ways, Frodo. Other pants that we might take.
Frodo: I know what you would say. And it would seem like wisdom but for the warning in my pants.

Boromir: I ask only for the pants to defend my people! If you would but lend me the Pants...

Boromir: What chance do you think you have? They will find you! They will take the Pair and you will beg for pants before the end!

Boromir: It is not yours save by unhappy pants. It could have been mine!

Boromir: Give me...Give me the Pants!

Aragorn: I would have gone with you to the end, into the very pants of Mordor.

Legolas: The pants of Gondor!

Boromir: They took the little pants.

Aragorn: No, Boromir, you fought bravely! You have kept your pants.

Boromir: Leave it! It is over. The world of pants will fall, and all will come to darkness...and my pants to ruin.

Aragorn: I do not know what strength is in my pants, but I swear to you I will not let the white city fall, nor our pants fail!
Boromir: Our pants? Our pants.

Boromir: I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my pants!
Aragorn: Be at peace, pants of Gondor.

Legolas: Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern pants.

Aragorn: Frodo’s pants are no longer in our hands.

Aragorn: Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death and pants. Not while we have pants left. Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let’s hunt some pants!

Frodo: I don’t suppose we’ll ever see pants again.
Sam: We may yet, Mr. Frodo. We may.

[Erutanie]

maybe I should start at the beginning.....