Post by LadyEowynOfRohan03 on Jun 2, 2005 22:53:32 GMT -5
[glow=white,2,300]Ok, this is the first chapter of the story that I am in the process of writing. Tell me what you think, what you like or don't like. Any suggestions for names of people, mythical creatures (which will come in later), places, and titles of the book.
*Note: This is a really rough draft. It's not completely finished. I still have yet to write past chapter 1, and add the prologue. I have all my ramblings about what I'm going to do with the story and, though that would make things much clearer, I don't want to post all of my maniacal plans.
Chapter I
High on a hill there sits a small house. It is crawling with green vines, and birds are singing in the large oak tree outside the front door. The door is a bright red, but the paint has begun to chip. Through the multitude of vines twisting over the house you can see that the house is a cheery yellow. A garden lies beneath a window at the side of the little house; it has been well cared for. Inside this quaint cottage sits a beautiful maiden with long golden hair. She sits holding the hand of her friend, remembering all the adventures that they have gone through, and not wanting to let him go…
"Mum! There's no more firewood!" The child said angrily. She wasn't so much of a child anymore, but she was fifteen, and she was spoiled.
"I sent Aidan to chop some wood half an hour ago. He's not back yet?" Came the reply from the kitchen of their comfortably large house. "You'll have to go fetch him sweetie."
"Why do I always have to search for that boy? He's probably wandered off somewhere to daydream again," muttered the girl as she stormed off to hunt for their farm hand. She strode down the hill from what should have been a woodpile, but was instead an empty patch of brown grass. She walked past the stable, stepped daintily over a sleeping cat, and went through the meadow. She traipsed along until she got to the edge of -(unnamed as of yet)- forest, where Aidan was most likely to be. It was a windy day, the breeze was blowing the trees and it blew her golden tresses in her face so that she had to repeatedly push it back out of her eyes. The wind rustled her dress, the dress that brought out her (sapphire?) china blue eyes.
"Aidan! Where are you?" She hollered into the air. No response. She shouted again, "Aaaaiidaaaaaaaaaan!!" Silence.
"Well, I guess I'll just have to go in there after him." She thought to herself. "But if I ruin my new dress he's going to be in big trouble when I return home." So this domineering young lady marched off into the forest in search of Aidan.
It wasn't long before she discovered where Aidan was. He was sitting between the roots of a giant oak tree, the branches he had begun to chop and the axe he chopped with were a few feet away, unfinished. The farm boy sat quietly writing in a book, seemingly not noticing the impatient beauty. She quickly snatches the book out of his grasp.
"So, I find you here, daydreaming again and writing in your silly book." He was never without it.
"It's not silly Avonlea," he said quietly, but with cold, controlled anger in his eyes.
"Well let's see then, shall we?" She reads out of his book in a mocking tone of voice, "I want to get out of this place. There's nothing for me here. I feel certain that my father would never have wanted me to live this way, a life of servitude. My only respite from daily toils are times like these when I can snatch a quiet moment away from everything." She pauses, seemingly annoyed. "So, you do this often. No wonder you take so long doing your duties. You lazy boy."
"I am not lazy, occasionally I take a few minutes to think about what else I can do with my life. Haven't you ever dreamed that you could do something great with your life, and be better than you are?" Aidan asked, trying hard not to let his frustration show in his voice.
"No. I have not, thankfully, and you shouldn't waste your time filling your head with empty dreams either. Not when there are fields to be tended and wood to cut. Don't fritter away your time even thinking about rising above your station, because that is impossible." Avonlea said with a condescending smirk.
Aidan leapt up and snatched the book out of her weak hands. His lean frame towered over her petite one. His dark brown hair disheveled, there was fire in his brown eyes as he said, "Now you're going to try and control my thoughts too?! His once well-concealed anger at this chit of a girl now unbridled, he terrified her. "You control everything I do. I don't eat if you don't let me, you work me to death as if I were a plough horse, I barely have time to bathe, and I rarely sleep. Do you have a heart?" His anger and quick movements startled her, but this question just upset her.
"Of course I have a heart a heart. I'm a person, and everyone knows that people have hearts." She said with annoyance.
"Not you, you don't have a heart. Ever since my parents died and I came to work for your family you have treated me like dirt. I will not stand for it anymore."
"What! Won't stand for it! Who do you think you are to treat me this way?" She said, her cheeks turning hot with anger at the audacity of this, this farm boy. Though he was older than she, Avonlea still lorded her higher station over him. "You wait until my mother hears about this. You'll be sorry when she gets a hold of you." Her pride wounded, she stormed off in a temper into the forest, relishing the thought of Aidan's punishment.
As Avonlea stalked away home, she was so blinded by her anger that she failed to realize that she had walked off in the wrong direction. Aidan realized this, for was well familiar with the forest, and knew he should go after her. The forest was vast, and was largely unexplored except for a few brave souls who'd dared venture in. Despite his wanting to let that haughty girl get lost and have to get home herself, he silently followed after her. Aidan knew the forest pretty well for he had spent some time on its outskirt with his parents before they, disappeared. He also knew that there were many dangers in the forest, a girl used to being spoiled could easily get seriously injured if she wasn't familiar with those dangers. His mistress would not be happy if he let her precious daughter come to harm, or worse, get dirty.
Aidan walked in the direction that Avonlea had taken, not too quickly, maybe being alone in an unexplored forest would scare some sense into her. At first the ground was fairly clear and smooth, but soon he had to trample through the under growth, being careful not to slip on the large tree roots that stuck out at odd angles. Aidan had just stepped over a slippery root when his foot got caught in a vine and he stumbled to the ground. As he was picking himself up after his undignified fall, he noticed some large scratches on the side of the tree he was using to help him get up. There was also some brown liquid lying on the ground, as if it had been spilled. He bent over and sniffed it; it had a pungent odor, almost sweet and sickly. The liquid puzzled him, but Aidan walked faster, fearing for Avonlea's safety. He thought to himself, "Some people reported seeing marks like these before, but those stories were either in legends or from the town lunatic. And what is that smell?" For he had smelt something, a sweet, musky sort of smell.
As Aidan was pondering this new scent he walked into a clearing and saw Avonlea, staring wide-eyed in astonishment at something lying on the forest floor no more than twenty paces away. Curled up on the ground was a serpentine creature, roughly six feet long, it was a dull reddish brown color with little markings of moss green and blue all across its back. In its left claw, for claws are what it had, it clenched a mug, there was some brown liquid still left in it.
Not wanting to frighten her, the young farm hand silently crept up behind Avonlea and covered her mouth, at the same time whispering, "S-s-s-h, don't scream, it's me."
The girl's body tensed for an instant, but then relaxed as she recognized his familiar voice. They stood in stunned silence for a few moments, taking in the image of the odd reptilian creature before them. Avonlea looking confused and startled, the boy with a look of knowing wonder on his face. "It's a dragon, Aidan said softly."
"A what!" Avonlea gasped, but still keeping her voice at a whisper. But it can't be, they're only in myths, legends."
"Legends may prove to be true, they have to begin somewhere. Ancient dragon lore says that once dragons and other fantastic creatures roamed the earth, as common as the birds of the sky. They allowed children to keep them as pets, kept lonely people company, helped farmers with their work. Most of them were helpful, and kind. But for some reason they all disappeared, dragons, centaurs, and unicorns, all of them. Now all that remains of these once glorious and majestic ancient creatures are the stories told by the fireside.
"Do you suppose he's a good dragon, or a bad dragon?" Avonlea wondered out loud.
"It's unlikely that he is evil, though were known to be queer, and did things in their own way. Most of the dragons were kind, though frightening. There was only one dragon who was ever known to be evil, Corwyn the Corrupt. All dragons are immortal; they live forever, unless they become evil. Once they declare themselves evil, their lives are shortened," whispered Aidan.
"You sure seem to know a lot about ancient folklore. You speak as if you had been there," Avonlea said, rather caustically.
"Yes," he responded, distantly. "My father and mother studied them passionately. They said they were on the verge of a discovering something of great importance. They had talked about it for months, but would never really tell me anything, for fear that word should get out about what they were studying, the people of our village always thought them strange and impractical. The only thing they told me was that it would be wonderful, for everyone, that was before they disappeared."
"What?" Avonlea was startled. "I thought they died.
"Actually, they disappeared. My parents were out late one night, studying, I was playing at a friend's house, and they never came back. It was actually from this forest that they disappeared. Search parties were sent out, but no one ever found anything. They were to afraid to go too deep into the forest, there have been strange tales told of people getting lost in it."
Avonlea thought, "Yeah, and they probably wanted as few weirdo's around as possible." But said, so your parents got lost too."
"Well, I don't think so. They knew the forest better than that. It must've been something else, something terrible. I wish they'd told me a…"
Aidan's words were cut short as they suddenly heard a gurgle from the sleeping beast curled up on the ground...
[/glow]
*Note: This is a really rough draft. It's not completely finished. I still have yet to write past chapter 1, and add the prologue. I have all my ramblings about what I'm going to do with the story and, though that would make things much clearer, I don't want to post all of my maniacal plans.
Chapter I
High on a hill there sits a small house. It is crawling with green vines, and birds are singing in the large oak tree outside the front door. The door is a bright red, but the paint has begun to chip. Through the multitude of vines twisting over the house you can see that the house is a cheery yellow. A garden lies beneath a window at the side of the little house; it has been well cared for. Inside this quaint cottage sits a beautiful maiden with long golden hair. She sits holding the hand of her friend, remembering all the adventures that they have gone through, and not wanting to let him go…
"Mum! There's no more firewood!" The child said angrily. She wasn't so much of a child anymore, but she was fifteen, and she was spoiled.
"I sent Aidan to chop some wood half an hour ago. He's not back yet?" Came the reply from the kitchen of their comfortably large house. "You'll have to go fetch him sweetie."
"Why do I always have to search for that boy? He's probably wandered off somewhere to daydream again," muttered the girl as she stormed off to hunt for their farm hand. She strode down the hill from what should have been a woodpile, but was instead an empty patch of brown grass. She walked past the stable, stepped daintily over a sleeping cat, and went through the meadow. She traipsed along until she got to the edge of -(unnamed as of yet)- forest, where Aidan was most likely to be. It was a windy day, the breeze was blowing the trees and it blew her golden tresses in her face so that she had to repeatedly push it back out of her eyes. The wind rustled her dress, the dress that brought out her (sapphire?) china blue eyes.
"Aidan! Where are you?" She hollered into the air. No response. She shouted again, "Aaaaiidaaaaaaaaaan!!" Silence.
"Well, I guess I'll just have to go in there after him." She thought to herself. "But if I ruin my new dress he's going to be in big trouble when I return home." So this domineering young lady marched off into the forest in search of Aidan.
It wasn't long before she discovered where Aidan was. He was sitting between the roots of a giant oak tree, the branches he had begun to chop and the axe he chopped with were a few feet away, unfinished. The farm boy sat quietly writing in a book, seemingly not noticing the impatient beauty. She quickly snatches the book out of his grasp.
"So, I find you here, daydreaming again and writing in your silly book." He was never without it.
"It's not silly Avonlea," he said quietly, but with cold, controlled anger in his eyes.
"Well let's see then, shall we?" She reads out of his book in a mocking tone of voice, "I want to get out of this place. There's nothing for me here. I feel certain that my father would never have wanted me to live this way, a life of servitude. My only respite from daily toils are times like these when I can snatch a quiet moment away from everything." She pauses, seemingly annoyed. "So, you do this often. No wonder you take so long doing your duties. You lazy boy."
"I am not lazy, occasionally I take a few minutes to think about what else I can do with my life. Haven't you ever dreamed that you could do something great with your life, and be better than you are?" Aidan asked, trying hard not to let his frustration show in his voice.
"No. I have not, thankfully, and you shouldn't waste your time filling your head with empty dreams either. Not when there are fields to be tended and wood to cut. Don't fritter away your time even thinking about rising above your station, because that is impossible." Avonlea said with a condescending smirk.
Aidan leapt up and snatched the book out of her weak hands. His lean frame towered over her petite one. His dark brown hair disheveled, there was fire in his brown eyes as he said, "Now you're going to try and control my thoughts too?! His once well-concealed anger at this chit of a girl now unbridled, he terrified her. "You control everything I do. I don't eat if you don't let me, you work me to death as if I were a plough horse, I barely have time to bathe, and I rarely sleep. Do you have a heart?" His anger and quick movements startled her, but this question just upset her.
"Of course I have a heart a heart. I'm a person, and everyone knows that people have hearts." She said with annoyance.
"Not you, you don't have a heart. Ever since my parents died and I came to work for your family you have treated me like dirt. I will not stand for it anymore."
"What! Won't stand for it! Who do you think you are to treat me this way?" She said, her cheeks turning hot with anger at the audacity of this, this farm boy. Though he was older than she, Avonlea still lorded her higher station over him. "You wait until my mother hears about this. You'll be sorry when she gets a hold of you." Her pride wounded, she stormed off in a temper into the forest, relishing the thought of Aidan's punishment.
As Avonlea stalked away home, she was so blinded by her anger that she failed to realize that she had walked off in the wrong direction. Aidan realized this, for was well familiar with the forest, and knew he should go after her. The forest was vast, and was largely unexplored except for a few brave souls who'd dared venture in. Despite his wanting to let that haughty girl get lost and have to get home herself, he silently followed after her. Aidan knew the forest pretty well for he had spent some time on its outskirt with his parents before they, disappeared. He also knew that there were many dangers in the forest, a girl used to being spoiled could easily get seriously injured if she wasn't familiar with those dangers. His mistress would not be happy if he let her precious daughter come to harm, or worse, get dirty.
Aidan walked in the direction that Avonlea had taken, not too quickly, maybe being alone in an unexplored forest would scare some sense into her. At first the ground was fairly clear and smooth, but soon he had to trample through the under growth, being careful not to slip on the large tree roots that stuck out at odd angles. Aidan had just stepped over a slippery root when his foot got caught in a vine and he stumbled to the ground. As he was picking himself up after his undignified fall, he noticed some large scratches on the side of the tree he was using to help him get up. There was also some brown liquid lying on the ground, as if it had been spilled. He bent over and sniffed it; it had a pungent odor, almost sweet and sickly. The liquid puzzled him, but Aidan walked faster, fearing for Avonlea's safety. He thought to himself, "Some people reported seeing marks like these before, but those stories were either in legends or from the town lunatic. And what is that smell?" For he had smelt something, a sweet, musky sort of smell.
As Aidan was pondering this new scent he walked into a clearing and saw Avonlea, staring wide-eyed in astonishment at something lying on the forest floor no more than twenty paces away. Curled up on the ground was a serpentine creature, roughly six feet long, it was a dull reddish brown color with little markings of moss green and blue all across its back. In its left claw, for claws are what it had, it clenched a mug, there was some brown liquid still left in it.
Not wanting to frighten her, the young farm hand silently crept up behind Avonlea and covered her mouth, at the same time whispering, "S-s-s-h, don't scream, it's me."
The girl's body tensed for an instant, but then relaxed as she recognized his familiar voice. They stood in stunned silence for a few moments, taking in the image of the odd reptilian creature before them. Avonlea looking confused and startled, the boy with a look of knowing wonder on his face. "It's a dragon, Aidan said softly."
"A what!" Avonlea gasped, but still keeping her voice at a whisper. But it can't be, they're only in myths, legends."
"Legends may prove to be true, they have to begin somewhere. Ancient dragon lore says that once dragons and other fantastic creatures roamed the earth, as common as the birds of the sky. They allowed children to keep them as pets, kept lonely people company, helped farmers with their work. Most of them were helpful, and kind. But for some reason they all disappeared, dragons, centaurs, and unicorns, all of them. Now all that remains of these once glorious and majestic ancient creatures are the stories told by the fireside.
"Do you suppose he's a good dragon, or a bad dragon?" Avonlea wondered out loud.
"It's unlikely that he is evil, though were known to be queer, and did things in their own way. Most of the dragons were kind, though frightening. There was only one dragon who was ever known to be evil, Corwyn the Corrupt. All dragons are immortal; they live forever, unless they become evil. Once they declare themselves evil, their lives are shortened," whispered Aidan.
"You sure seem to know a lot about ancient folklore. You speak as if you had been there," Avonlea said, rather caustically.
"Yes," he responded, distantly. "My father and mother studied them passionately. They said they were on the verge of a discovering something of great importance. They had talked about it for months, but would never really tell me anything, for fear that word should get out about what they were studying, the people of our village always thought them strange and impractical. The only thing they told me was that it would be wonderful, for everyone, that was before they disappeared."
"What?" Avonlea was startled. "I thought they died.
"Actually, they disappeared. My parents were out late one night, studying, I was playing at a friend's house, and they never came back. It was actually from this forest that they disappeared. Search parties were sent out, but no one ever found anything. They were to afraid to go too deep into the forest, there have been strange tales told of people getting lost in it."
Avonlea thought, "Yeah, and they probably wanted as few weirdo's around as possible." But said, so your parents got lost too."
"Well, I don't think so. They knew the forest better than that. It must've been something else, something terrible. I wish they'd told me a…"
Aidan's words were cut short as they suddenly heard a gurgle from the sleeping beast curled up on the ground...
[/glow]
