|
|
Post by Aranel on Apr 3, 2005 13:58:06 GMT -5
The Death of a Life Guard
(Or The Last of the Great Life Guards)
Once upon a time there was a life guard . . .
(well here's the new one . . . enjoy yourselves guy . . . but not too much . . . lol! )
|
|
|
|
Post by Aragorn714 on Apr 3, 2005 14:58:33 GMT -5
An innocent Lifeguard who had heard rumers that a Glad elf had paid some bungaling assasins to do him in. So he was sitting in his Guard Chair, getting a tan, in Florida, when there was a huge spash...
|
|
|
|
Post by Aranel on Apr 4, 2005 14:15:11 GMT -5
. . . "Hey!" he shouted in surprise.
"Hey yourself!" came the reply from the mermaid who had dropped suddenly into the water.
"Where did you come from? No mermaids allowed, I'm sorry!" he explained.
"Just because you're getting a tan and are stronger then me doesn't mean you can boss me around! I think I won't tell you the horrible, mind-boggling, sick, disgusting news I just found out." The mermaid, who was called Aquadewdrop, turned snippily on her tail and gave him the stiff shoulder.
"Wait, what news?" he asked kindly.
"Fine," Aquadewdrop relented. "Your good buddy Europe has been killed! therefore proving that Europe is not a place but a dead life guard."
. . .
|
|
|
|
Post by IceFire on Apr 4, 2005 18:54:35 GMT -5
Wait... whoes Europe? I think you are mistaking me for another blonde, shorthaired lifeguard... and just how do you think you can get out of this pool? its not like we're any where near an ocean or anything. And by the way... where did you come from in the first place?
|
|
|
|
Post by Erutanie on Apr 4, 2005 21:31:25 GMT -5
Orangeblossom was still trying to figure out the voice from the last adventure just sat there now pondering what was going on in the present.
Ima Nut, who never misses a chance for a random comment, replied, "That's a good question IceFire, hey Arinae: where did we come from?"
Arinae was too busy trying to get OB to understand so she missed this comment entirely.
The mermaid, meanwhile, was trying to decide the race of the three aforementioned girl.
|
|
|
|
Post by Aragorn714 on Apr 5, 2005 11:00:44 GMT -5
Well now the lifeguard is completely confused... there is a mermaid in his pool a disconcerted looking girl whoes ethicnicity is in question, and a paradoxial voice telling him what he's thinking... In frusteration he raised his whistle to his lips and blows...
|
|
|
|
Post by ~* Alquavende *~ on Apr 5, 2005 14:38:47 GMT -5
then suddenly a wave splashed into his face and he dropped the whistle, then he thought "Wait a minute, there are no waves in this pool," he looked around and realized with amazement that he wasn't in the pool anymore! Aquadewdrop was actaully a magical mermaid and had transported everyone out onto the open seas!
|
|
|
|
Post by Aragorn714 on Apr 6, 2005 13:26:10 GMT -5
Because the Lifeguard knew how to swim the initial shock of the water wore off, but he still was disoriented. One moment he was wondering how a mermaid got in his pool, and the next here was wondering how his pool became the ocean. Then he realized that whatever magic the Mermaid used had given him the ability to breathe underwater! So he dove down and began kicking. He noticed a trail of bubbles where the mermaid had swam so he started to follow it, then he remembered the multiracial girl and swam up to see if she had been dragged along with him...
Grammatical correction courtesy of your LIGC. (Local Insane Grammar Checker)
|
|
|
|
Post by StarWarsOnTheBrain on Apr 11, 2005 19:11:44 GMT -5
(I should hope that he knows how to swim. I know it's off-topic, but the lifeguard dude, Boone, on Lost just died. LOL. Maybe it's not that off-topic.)
The life guard followed the mermaid for miles and miles and finally found himself before a deserted island. On the beach sat a young woman.
"Hello. What are you doing out there?" Then she burst into giggles. "I guess that's the wrong questionj, it's ovious your swimming. I guess I should ask how you got here." The lifeguard proceeded to tell her about the mermaid, who had disappeared for the moment. THen asked what she was doing on a deserted island.
"I actually have no idea. One minute I'm a normal girl in her room enjoying a good book. The next I'm an Elf on a deserted island with an idiot who keeps shouting 'Why is all the rum gone?' Why an Elf would be stranded on Jack Sparrow's islandi have no idea. But's it's not that bad. It's actually been rather relaxing after Jack walked over that way." She said, with a grin on her face. "And it's not like this is the first time that it's happened." The lifeguard admired the Elf-girl's happiness despite such strange circumstances.
|
|
|
|
Post by FlightsRelease on Apr 11, 2005 20:35:23 GMT -5
The life Guard decided to dub her the Glad Elf...Meanwhile back at the ranch...The bumbling assasins stared at an empty pool and wet whistle.....Meanwhile back at the Island...The life guard had become thourghly bored with the chatter of the way to happy elf and decieded to take his chances back in the ocean...
|
|
|
|
Post by StarWarsOnTheBrain on Apr 11, 2005 20:45:35 GMT -5
..."Wait, let me come with you." Unable to stop her from joining him he simply decided to ignore her, hoping that she would give up before they got to far from the island. But, unknown to him, Elves are very good swimmers. Eventually they stopped to rest on a yet another deserted beach (Well, they couldn't have a conversation in the middle of the ocean could they?).
"Sorry for seeming chatty back there, but it was the only way to keep Jack from coming back. He's obnoxious when he's drunk." She said.
"I see." The lifeguard said. "So followed me across the ocean for what reason." The Elf turned deep red.
"I kinda of got some assasins on your trail. I was joking around, and they kind of took me seriously."
"And you couldn't just tell me on the beach because?"
"I was trying to explain to them that I was joking and they stuck me on the island. I think it was watched." She explained. "Whose that out there? Is her skin changing color?"...
|
|
|
|
Post by FlightsRelease on Apr 11, 2005 22:24:56 GMT -5
"that weird "creature???" was swimming in my pool before I got transferred into the the big blue" The lifeguard puzzled " I have no idea who...or what she is"
Frowning the book loving elf stood and called to the mysterious one who danced in the waves with the many faces of herself. But unfourtuantly before the soundwaves reached the ears of the strange one called Arinae a lacromimose leach and a couple of his buddys rose from the sea and dragged her deep into the abis. For the unfourtunate one had eaten a roasted gummy 59min prior her wave dance. The horrifed lifeguard and elf took three big steps away from the now forbiding ocean. See the leaches migrate during gummy worm season. Any how the elf decied that due to the iminate arrival StarWars III she would start another book and hopfully change herself into a jedi master stronge enough to battle the growing evil. The poor Life guard found himself once again...alone and unbeknownst to him, he was being stalked by the bumbling assasins who couldn't undersand the meaning of the words "just kidding".
|
|
|
|
Post by Aragorn714 on Apr 12, 2005 10:34:13 GMT -5
Well after seeing the leaches the lifeguard decided to wait untill the (pod? herd? swarm?) of leaches had moved on, luckily he had not eaten recently so there really wasn't any danger from the leaches. So while he was waiting on the beach... waiting on the beach... still waiting... waiting... he ended up waiting so long on that deserted beach that the sun began to set, so He decided to watch it. Just when the tip of the blazing sun touched the horizon a mist rolled across the water towards the deserted island beach, it soon obscured the sunset. After about five minutes the mist was so thick the lifeguard couldn't see more than two feet in front of him...
meanwhile back at the pool, the bumbling assasins were really puzzled about the empty pool and lone whistle...
|
|
|
|
Post by Aranel on Apr 12, 2005 13:15:21 GMT -5
Out of no where on the beach, Elondra the corrective Elf popped up.
"I'm sorry but you can't swim for miles, only leagues. And the assassins aren't bumbling they are quite competant. Marille wasn't joking, either. Get the facts straight!" and with a whirl of her hand, Elondra flung a handful of sand into the air and was gone.
|
|
|
|
Post by StarWarsOnTheBrain on Apr 13, 2005 15:33:46 GMT -5
[glow=silver,9,900]
Marille glared in the direction that Elondra had gone, of course the fog was so thick that our poor lifeguard friend (who also happens to be nameless) couldn't see her. Suddenly Marille shouted into the fog.
"I WAS too. And you know I never meant a word of it Elondra." Quite ocnfused and not sure what to think of this Glad Elf the lifeguard continued to wait for the fog to lift...
[/glow]
|
|
